The phrase “Life after LLL”
is more accurately for me “LLL for Life.”
Lorelei de la Reza, currently on Leader Reserve, was an “approved,” “certified,” and then “accredited” Leader beginning in 1973. Her zestful approach to life challenges all of us to “grow better,” not just “grow older.”
A Houston resident since 1957, she and her Bolivian-born architect husband, Rey, have three married children, Marc, Michele, and Lisa, and two “incredible” granddaughters.
Besides tirelessly promoting breastfeeding within the community, Lorelei continues to challenge herself and inspire her family and her community to a passionate exploration of all that life has to offer.
Photo by Ivette Connell
Your husband once said, “Whenever she gets something on her mind, she stays on it…” Can you elaborate?
Rey was referring to the slow and sometimes frustrating process of learning the skills of basketball. This adventure began four years ago when Rey gave me a membership to a fitness club. It had a basketball court with glass on two walls and a skylight. The court’s beauty drew me inside. That’s when I picked up a basketball for the first time. Rey and I had been fans for years, but I never had played the game. I graduated from high school 10 years before Title IX, the law that gives equal opportunity to women to play sports.Since there were no classes available to me as an adult, I did some creative problem solving. I went to the community center to watch young girls being coached. I volunteered at a holiday basketball camp for kids where I could help and also watch and learn.
I went to Rice University to watch the ladies team, taking notes the entire time. I even wrote a letter to the head coach asking if I could attend their girls’ summer camp. She agreed, and I spent two weeks with 13-year-olds learning the skills of ball handling and shooting. All the while, in order to feel the ball as an extension of my being, I dribbled the ball everywhere—to church, the post office, bank, library. An unexpected benefit from learning to dribble and pass the ball with either hand is that I have become ambidextrous. Previously I was dependent on my left hand, but now I am equally skilled.
This was an exciting but also scary time because I was attempting something totally different. After a basketball player showed me proper shooting form, I made a conscious decision to commit to correct form, even though I couldn’t make any baskets at first. I practiced for long hours and became a “gym rat.”
A friend who had observed my inept attempts in the beginning commented two years later, “I admire your determination and discipline in mastering a new skill. Many people would never venture out and try to learn a new activity, and for that they will never reap the benefits and rewards that come with it.” The rewards for me are being able to teach others how to shoot—
from children to seniors. They are amazed how well the simple principles, when applied consistently, really work. They love it when the ball goes through the hoop.I ended up joining a Senior Olympics team (55-59 age group), which gave me an opportunity to play with other ladies at the Local and State Games. As the gold medalist team for Texas, we are going to Nationals in Pittsburgh in June. I also will be running the 5k, 10k, 400m, 800m, and 1500m races, having won a gold medal in my age group at the State Games in all five races.
It was natural for our family to be active. We took hikes with the kids, including one with Lisa in a sling at 10 days old. Rey pedaled kids to school on his bike; I walked them home while we made up songs. Marc would say, “When I grow up, I want to have muscles like Mommy.”I was active not to look strong, but in order to be self-sufficient. I felt confident that I could move, lift, or carry anything in a given situation—that I didn’t have to wait for someone to come along to help. Who needs weights when I could lift huge sacks of potatoes during our co-op shopping trips!
As far as diet, on my birthday in 1989, I read Compassion the Ultimate Ethic: An Exploration of Veganism by Victoria Moran. At that moment, I chose to be vegan for ethical reasons—a decision that has brought me great peace of mind. I eat a rainbow of colorful, delicious, nutritious plant foods, thereby contributing positively to a peaceful, non-violent world. Of course, I still like chips and chocolate, but since my food choices are based on compassion, I am never tempted to stray off course.
Unlike the typical LLL Leader, I attended my first LLL meeting after I had breastfed my babies. Being a young, naïve mom in the late ’60s and early ’70s, I didn’t realize that I needed more information at the time. I nursed because my mother nursed; I never considered any other possibility. When my last baby weaned prematurely after a nursing strike, I was heart-broken.Yearning to be with nursing moms, I finally found LLL. Then I read and learned and shared my love of breastfeeding with all who would listen. Shortly after, I submitted my application, and to my joy, I became a representative of LLL.
This was indeed a very satisfying experience. Here’s how it happened. We met at the same fitness club and developed a warm friendship. The lady enjoyed taking water aerobic classes in the swimming pool. She was very interested in and excited about my Senior Olympics activities. So prior to the next year’s Local Games, I decided to offer her the opportunity to do the same thing—to demonstrate the capabilities already within her.She accepted my invitation, took swimming lessons, and trained for her races. After a lifetime as an active vibrant woman, she deserved to have a medal around her neck and to bask in the admiration of her children and grandchildren who came to support her at the swim meet with cheers and hand-made signs.
Yes, this situation is similar to the joy we as Leaders feel. We help to empower mothers to acknowledge their abilities to make good choices about how to mother their babies—and to have the courage to follow their hearts.
Lisa nursed her dolls and accepted breastfeeding as the norm, even before she knew why it was a good thing. She is eager to nurse her own babies.Having grown up with a mother who was an LLL Leader, Michele said she heard over and over, “Listen to the baby.” In her life, she has taken that to mean, “Be open to another way; allow yourself to change your mind.”
As an adult, my life changed for the better when I listened to my daughters. Both of them had been encouraging me for years to incorporate stretching as part of my exercise activities. I flatly said, “No.” I didn’t like it and it was way too boring. Well, finally and with humility, I listened. Now I stretch for nearly an hour prior to my daily fitness activities that include playing basketball and taking dance, kickboxing, and high-intensity aerobic classes. Being completely loose and warmed up allows me to execute whatever moves are involved in the activity.
Probably the most important message I shared by example was to be an independent thinker. I’ve always made choices that were right for me, even though they weren’t popular or in fashion. In junior high, I tried wearing high heels, felt the pain, and decided I would never wear them again. In the ’50s when I lived in the South, I would board a bus, push though the mass of people standing at the front, go to the back and sit in an empty seat—giving no thought that those seats were occupied by people of a different color.
I don’t feel that I seek challenges, but rather am open to following my intuition to pursue the next step. The process of writing this article has led me to the decision to withdraw from future team competition in basketball after the June National Senior Olympics in Pittsburgh. Here’s the reason.The most difficult challenge in playing basketball for me is the physical contact. The bumping, pushing, and getting knocked to the floor that comes with boxing out, rebounding and playing good defense was a startling surprise at first—and still leaves me in tears and with cuts and bruises after practices. Having never played rough in my family, this physicality is foreign to me. And I am not getting any better in dealing with it.
Recently my brother shared some information that gave me much to ponder. It was the text of a talk by Perry Saidman called “Competition—an inhumane activity.” A few of the main points are as follows:
We are born to cooperate and share.
So my conclusion is that since I am not an aggressive person (and don’t want to be), my attempts at getting used to the physical contact have not been successful. It’s not who I am. I still love basketball and definitely will continue to practice, and play for the enjoyment, skills and camaraderie of the game. My favorite game is one in which we don’t keep score but rather cooperate, with the goal of improving, not competing.
Years ago, after my empty nest was feeling cavernous, I read an article on “Finding your purpose in life” in my church’s weekly magazine. In the article, the author states, “I urge you to find a passion that stirs your soul.”One time I was chatting with a friend/mother about finding my passion for basketball. Sometime later she excitedly told me, “I found it! It’s water coloring!” She had purchased a small watercolor kit to give as a gift, but instead took it with her on a trip. After trying it out, her new adventure began. She started a watercolor class and discovered the newfound passion that stirs her soul.
First, it helps to simplify by dropping outgrown viewpoints and activities from your life, so that your thought is open to new ideas. Don’t limit yourself; try something new; read about it. Then ask yourself, “Does it fit?”One change I made was to switch my support for our organic community garden from caretaking a bed to writing the garden articles for the newsletter; thereby furthering my love of writing. However, I still am able to pick yummy lettuce, parsley, and snow peas.
LLL continues to be part of my life now as Leader Reserve. I don’t lead meetings, but I do attend them occasionally, help out at Baby Expos, and keep in touch with our Group Leaders through our
email loop.Even though my three nurslings are grown and married and my activities have changed, I still cherish the on-going opportunities I have to model LLL ideals and share them with others.
I envision myself being an LLL Leader always. It is part of my identity, who I am. I always carry LLL meeting notices and a sling brochure with me. I purchase slings at bulk rate to give away or sell at my cost and I give away LLL books.The phrase “Life after LLL” is more accurately for me, “LLL for Life.”
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Interview by Meg Sondey, Mexico
This interview first appeared in Continuum, Vol. 18, No. 1, 2005ADDENDUM
Lorelei's report from the Pittsburgh National Senior Olympics 2005:
For two weeks in June, I participated along with 10,000 senior athletes in the 2005 National Senior Olympics held in Pittsburgh. What an amazing adventure at summer camp!
The best part of the experience was seeing my daughter, Michele, and her husband, Peter, who live there. I stayed in the dorms at the University of Pittsburgh (where we played our basketball tournament) and at Carnegie Mellon University (where we ran the track races). After one week, Michele helped move me from one dorm to the other, and she and I laughed at the role reversal. "Okay Mom, let's find your room and see how your key works." It's supposed to be - mom leaves daughter at college - not the other way around.
Michele and Peter came to cheer us at our basketball games, bringing friends and wearing purple to match our team's uniform color. We played our first 4 games in 18 hours, made it into the Championship Round, played 3 more games, and finished 5th out of 16 teams. We were extremely pleased!
Here's Lorelei at a recent race to benefit Rice University athletics. Notice her breastfeeding bracelet!
Photo by RaceShots.net
Then I ran the 5k road race out in the country. The pace was such that I was in contact with the leaders, running 5th out of 13 in my age group (60-64). In the last mile, we changed positions, and I finished 3rd (26:30). I received my bronze medal along with the other women, standing under a red/white/blue balloon arch in a lush meadow - very picturesque.
The 10k race was brutal. The conditions were not the ones in which I choose to run - hot and humid on a hilly course with a late start. I made the decision to run (not race), cover the distance, sing hymns, encourage fellow runners, and finish without getting overheated. Runners were dropping because of the heat; I didn't want to be a part of that. I finished 4th. I called this race "the valley of the shadow of death."
Then came the track races. In the 800m prelims, I finished 3rd to make it into the finals, so things looked promising for another bronze. However on the night before the finals, I thought it would be nice to have a medal of a different color. The race began, and the top three of us went out in the same order ahead of the field, with me running third behind Andrea. On the last straight-away, I thought, "This is where I am supposed to try to catch her." With the cheering and encouragement of my daughter and spectators, I was able to finish ahead of her by less than a second (3:24) to earn a beautiful silver medal.
A few hours later, the three of us and others met again for the 1500m race, and we went out running in the same order. I heard someone from the stands yelling and saw that it was my son-in-law. I yelled back, "Hey Peter! and he responded, "Go mother-in-law! This time with more than a full lap to go, I decided to pass Andrea - knowing I would have to hold the pace for another complete loop. After making the move, I asked my daughter (who was on the grass inside the track) how close Andrea was to me. She said, "Close, but not too close, but keep running!" I did and finished 5 seconds ahead (6:56) for another silver medal. It was awesome!
It all seems like a dream - but a very lovely dream.
Lorelei
