Marian Tompson and Janet Jendron2005 LLLI Alumnae Award Recipient:
Congratulations to Marjie Hathaway!
Here's Marjie's story as she wrote it to us:Jay and I married 45 years ago and decided ahead of time that we wanted 12 children. We ended up with 6, but we tried! We now have 8+ grandchildren.
For our first pregnancy we went to the “best” doctor in the area and wanted to be awake for the birth. Instead I was medicated and do not remember anything about the birth. I was bound and determined to breastfeed him but no matter how much I tried to stay on schedule or listen to my grandmother who wanted my milk tested because every time she held him he cried until she left the house. He was a beautiful baby (actually beyond beautiful!) with red hair contrasted against milky white skin. The breastfeeding was a problem and he was very slow at gaining weight. I never thought about the possible effects the birthing drugs may have had. Breastfeeding only lasted 3 months.
We had our next child 16 months later. I still struggled with the birth and ended up with medication but the topic of breastfeeding was another issue. I had read an article in The Readers Digest (actually over and over again) and sent for a copy of a new book called "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding." I read it cover to cover. and no one could say anything against breastfeeding to me. If anyone tried I held up the book and they backed off!
I nursed our daughter Susan until 2 weeks before our next daughter was born. I was a La Leche Leader by then and I had every intention of tandem nursing but when the colostrum came in, Susan didn’t want it. To this day she does not like cream.
With the birth of our next daughter Coni, I waited until the last minute to go to the hospital and at the last minute they gave me the drugs. She was beautiful and I was hemorrhaging. I felt this weird sensation over my body as I watched in the mirror, blood pouring out of my body. They gave me an oxytocin IV for two days and the bleeding continued until a nurse took pity on me and said I could nurse my baby because they were going to change the IV and I could hold and nurse before they put it back. Miracles of miracles, as soon as she started nursing the bleeding stopped. Just like turning off a faucet. It is amazing what breastfeeding can do.
During this time LLLI added new information to our meetings and introduced the topic of birth. We were confused why such information was important because it was before breastfeeding. Needless to say, this changed my life, in particular the idea that birth and breastfeeding were a continuum and both part of the natural process.One afternoon in 1965 another La Leche Leader, Karen Osterlund, called me and said that La Leche League was sponsoring a talk about natural childbirth. Would Jay and I like to attend? I was pregnant again and more determined to this the natural way. This was just before the publication of Dr. Bradley's book "Husband-Coached Childbirth." Dr. Bradley said some amazing things. He said “Women don’t need drugs to give birth.” I challenged him because birth hurt so much that couldn’t believe a mother could give birth without the drugs. He smiled and said that if I would just learn how to birth, kind of like swimming, I could give birth the way God intended. I listened. Next he said that “a mother could nurse her baby immediately after birth.” I popped up again and argued that I had been so groggy that I would have dropped my baby on the floor. Dr. Bradley told me that I was groggy from the drugs and putting the baby to the breast was good for mother and baby. I already knew that breastfeeding stopped bleeding, now he was telling me it was good for bonding and the best start for the baby. I liked this. Next Dr. Bradley said “A man should finish what he starts and be with his wife during the birth” This sounded good, and I knew that Jay would love to do that. Then Dr. Bradley told us that mothers could walk out of the delivery room. That was a bit hard to accept since I could remember being in such pain after birth that I had to crawl on my hands and knees for days afterward just to get to the bathroom. I asked “How could a woman do that?” Dr. Bradley told me that trained natural childbirth mothers can walk.
Jay and I went home and thought about all of this, and decided that it could not be any worse than what we had already done. I started looking around Southern California for a doctor or hospital that would just let my husband in the delivery room. I could not find anyone who would listen to us. Finally I resigned myself to another medicated birth and continued with my original doctor. Toward the end of my pregnancy when I went in for my regular visit, he checked me and said I was 4 cm dilated and he stripped my membranes. He promised me that I would have my baby that weekend. Monday morning I woke up and was still pregnant. Tuesday morning I woke up and turned to Jay and said “Let’s go.” We went to International Airport and flew to Denver, Colorado, where Dr. Bradley practiced medicine.
We had our baby in Denver. No drugs, breastfeeding immediately, walked out of the delivery room, and went sightseeing the next day. I was overwhelmed and kept asking myself why I did not trust that God knew what he was doing. “Ye of little faith” came to mind. It works!!! Dr. Bradley said “Don’t come back to Denver every time you want to have another baby. Go back to California and get things started.” I started teaching classes and they grew and grew. Today we have had 2 more natural births and travel all over the country training teachers who are mothers and dads just like us. This is a parent to parent revolution.
I am a retired La Leche League leader now and send all my students to meetings. Breast is best and part of the natural process.I thank La Leche League for helping us find our calling, and our way to be a part of the parent to parent revolution. I am surprised, honored and humbled to receive the Alumnae Association Reward.
Note from the LLLI Alumnae Web Page Editors: Learn more about Husband Coached Childbirth.
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